From secretly playing music in her bedroom to performing on Tokyo’s underground rocky stage, Saki Nishioka turns her fears into art.
Leaving Kyushu, a coastal city in Fukuoka Prefecture, 22 years old Saki Nishioka was ready to start university in Tokyo. But the excitement of a new city life soon faded once she realized how unhealthy and overly competitive her university environment really was, draining her self-confidence. Like many other teenagers, Saki quickly felt overwhelmed by loneliness.
To overcome her dark thoughts, she began putting them into lyrics, turning her silence into music. She escaped the daylights to embrace the night, drawn to meet people like her, Saki found out about the underground music realm with its friendly community. Music, karaoke machines and cigarettes, this is where Saki met Toku, the leader and guitarist of BuddhaJane.
“Two days before leaving, I met Toku, and two days after, I met him again,” Saki laughs, her memory sparkling. The few days were enough for Toku to fall for her voice and charm.
Before anything could happen, Saki was flying to The Toronto University in Canada, where she met a warm and welcoming music scene that made her wonder if she should start a band over there. Yet again, as if destiny had an urge to intervene, she returned to Tokyo and accepted Toku’s proposition. Within a week, she was the voice of BuddhaJane, a Japanese indie rock music band who revels in freedom.
“If I wasn’t in the band, I guess I would be a lonely, difficult person so… it gives so many opportunities to meet people, it makes me more open minded,” she says.
Growing up in Kyushu, Saki felt ashamed to dream and to love; it was only in secret that she allowed herself to play music. Her strained relationship with her parents didn’t help her understand her artistic and sexual identity.
“As a girl, I really wanted to be a boy, I started to shave my hair and behave like a boy, and my sexuality became that,” she says. “But now I am enjoying being a girl, being bisexual is amazing; without those environment, I couldn’t be like this; this is why it is my strongest identity as a Kyushu person.”
She forged her identity through her bisexuality, channeling her feelings into songs and lyrics. Saki doesn’t just sing, she is also the talented songwriter of BuddhaJane. With Toku by her side, she could achieve aspirations that she didn’t even know she had.
“He makes my perspective broader, he is a very easygoing person: I am always anxious, and sometimes I feel guilty for my parents but when I am with him, I get more positive,” she explained.
Toku; the visionary guitarist, an unknown yet passionate drummer, and Saki; the vocalist dreamer: BuddhaJane reawakened from its ashes. Life’s rhythm continued to run its course, losing people — the ex-drummer, the bassist — only to meet greater ones.
“We have many songs, but financial issues have kept us from recording them,” Saki explains. “Despite those changes, the band has never been more cohesive, sharing together the same creative spirit and artistic direction. Toku, who was until now caring the weight of every decision, is no longer leading the way. He has the vision, the strongest vision, but now he is sharing it. It is so special. I never had close friends actually because I was too shy.”
With the chord laid down, Saki murmured the melody while moulding the words together in her mother tongue. “I wanted to sing in English because I’m too shy to sing in Japanese. I’m not ashamed of myself, but it feels too direct.”
Saki hopes to reach listeners who feel like her — outcast, dreamer, the quiet voices — to express BuddhaJane’s “nerd vibe,” drawing a line with the party-hard, drug-fueled cliché often entwined with Tokyo’s underground scene.
“My dream is for our songs to reach teenagers who feel stuck. I want to make sad or compassionate music that can cheer them up, because I was once like that,” she says, her eyes shimmered.
Promotion is difficult, and the Japanese scene has strict immutable rules, which explains her first desire to make music in Canada rather than in Tokyo. BuddhaJane relies mainly on social media to promote their art and trust word-of-mouth, letting friends and fans spread their music.
The next steps are settled: after creating an album, BuddhaJane plans to take their music overseas: China, Europe, Canada, Taiwan.
“Anyone can do music, anyone can be themselves, but they don’t need to be outgoing and optimistic, I want people to be themselves,” Saki says — a star who hasn't finished shining, making her wishes come true.